So after that not so brief intro, this is what prompted me to blog in the first place. As I was falling asleep last night I had a thought, a question, and I couldn't answer it. So I thought I'd write it out...
My thought is this, what if people don't notice? This is something that has caused me to throw in the towel many times. Here's the deal. My parents don't know I'm going to Fitness Ridge, nor will they until I'm home, if ever. As I've mentioned to friends on FB, I'm usually very quiet about my weight loss efforts. I've learned from the past that if I make it known that I'm trying to lose weight/gain health, then when I fail, which I always have, it's incredibly embarassing. So even though I've announced it to all my friends on FB, my parents do not know, and anyone on FB that has remote contact with them is blocked from seeing my status/posts. This is juvenile I know.
I will not see my parents until Sophia's First Communion on 5/1. Here's the purpose of this post....I'm afraid that if I haven't taken off a noticable amount, in pounds or inches, that I'll view that as a failure. Believe me, it's happened before. I've lost maybe 20 or 30 pounds (a drop in the bucket for me) without anyone noticing. And when they don't I say to myself, "what's the point? I've worked so hard and no one can tell." A good friend of mine (shout out to Jim who took off 100 of his own, woot!) said that weight loss isn't really noticable until you hit about 10%. It is my sincere hope that over the next few months something will click to make me realize that I am doing this for myself and no one else. Me. ME! Not my parents, not my husband, nor my three beautiful girls, not the guy I'm crushing on, or the skinny bitches at the pool. Me.
Thank you. I can see why people do this!
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Listen Leslie,
ReplyDeleteI have close to 700 friends on my facebook. And my last name is not Cee, it simply starts with the letter C. I have let a small few in on my journey along with all you new friends that are connected through Fitness Ridge. I have a few reasons, 1, I am a DJ/KJ and it is really going to upset my singers that I am going to be away for an entire month. 2) I don't want anyone to have any preconceived ideas of how I should look when I return after my month.
By loving yourself enough to get healthy you are loving your children and husband. You have to put yourself first to ultimately be there for them. There is nothing wrong with not letting everyone in your life know. You are after all doing this for YOU not them.
Don't ever give up! You CAN do this. Just be realistic as to the time it is going to take. Start with small goals and work your way up. And if you feel bad when you tell certain people, then don't tell them. It's YOUR thing anyway!!
Thank you so much for putting your thoughts out there. You would be surprised to see how many of us feel EXACTLY the way you do. I have only recently let my friends in on my weight loss goals. I have "failed" so many times, and I didn't want others to ask, "When is she going to finally do this?" At some point, we just have to tune others out.
ReplyDeleteYour attitude is fantastic. You can do this. You will reach your goals. And honestly, if someone doesn't notice your 30 pound loss? WHO CARES!! You'll feel better. You will have more energy. You will have to buy new clothes. and really? That is all that matters. I think the trip to the resort will really help build on the momentum you already have. I totally support your decision not to tell people about your journey. You have to do what YOU need to do to feel supported and comfortable.
THIS IS YOUR JOURNEY!! No one else's. So, Make it all about YOU!!!!
You are going to have an amazing year! I can feel it.
Thanks for your support ladies. I can feel your enthusiasm and can't wait to share it with you!
ReplyDeleteIt is all about you and only you so do what you need to do. I'm slowly letting the cat out of the bag to friends and family. People are starting to notice and ask so I am starting to share. But I agree about being uncomfortable sharing because it seems like so many times I've started and never kept on with it. I'm not sure if this time is feeling different because it is really time (see my starting post, http://awmachine.blogspot.com/2010/02/finally-ready.html) or if the more I am publicly sharing the more committed I am feeling about it. I suppose it doesn't matter. I'm only slowly talking about it with those that express an interest. And I find that I am so grateful for the support I am getting from each and everyone of those people who are there to listen, support, praise and encourage me. I think that is part of the beauty in the weight watchers program too. We all need that positive feedback. It seems to keep us on a high note.
ReplyDeleteAs I'm writing this I'm thinking about saying that I don't want to disappoint those I'm sharing my journey with and that maybe the motivation comes from that......but I don't think that is the case this time around. I truly am just plain old ready for this over due change, don't want to get diabetes, want to do all the things I haven't been able to do because of the extra weight and am a very competitive person. This is a competition against myself. It is becoming a number game with workouts, sleep, calories, steps, inches, pounds and I have only me I'm competing with. And boy do I! Sorry, getting too wordy here. Good luck to you and when the time is right you will share with your parents and others close to you as well. In the mean time, KUDOS and keep on keepin' on! You can do it!
Thanks for the shout! Yes, I lost it but I always did it for myself. I feel like that is one key to success. I was actually shocked when people said they could tell. I would fight with them saying, "I really haven't lost that much". Later when I did lose a lot (like over 75), it became a sense of pride to tell someone how much I lost. But I still can't believe I lost 100. It's unimaginable and I still trivalize it.
ReplyDeleteI know this is one of the biggest things going on in your life right now. Just try to remember that others have just as big stuff going on in they're world. Not everyone's so dialed into weight like we are. Even though I've put back on 20 pounds recently and feel like complete crap about myself, others don't even see it (or they're just being nice about it).
Do it for you and no one else. You deserve it just as much as the next person. I wish you the best in your journey. I know you can do it.