Wrapping Up

Seriously, has it been a month? Wow! Well, this blogging thing isn't really for me. I don't have all that much to say that hasn't been said, and anyone who wants to follow this BLR journey can hit me up on Facebook. I always update FB but this blogging seems to be more of a chore and less of something that I want to do for myself. It's the year of me, remember?!?!?!?

I will leave you with this one last revelation...

As I was walking yesterday it occurred to me that my BLR adventure next week will likely be the single most difficult challenge I've had to endure in my life thus far. I reminded myself that the best way for me to get through it is to take it one day at a time...something I've been doing since I began this weight loss journey in earnest in January. I've always been an all or nothing individual, always focused on the little details of weight loss while looking eye to eye with the daunting task ahead of me. But I love this day by day mentality which seems to be working for me.

Anyway, it hit me. This will not be the most difficult struggle of my life. I've already had a huge challenge thrown my way that I was able to endure. There too I took it day by day, because I had no choice, no energy, no emotional capacity to even think of what tomorrow would bring. It's a story that I think about occasionally, but the consequences I face every single day. Yesterday it was on my mind big time, so I thought I'd share...

Three and half years ago, Eva, then 2, grabbed my tea cup off of the kitchen counter and took a sip. It was extremely hot and even though she had enough wherewithal to place the cup back on the counter, it spilled on her chin, hands and chest. Had she dropped it it would have spilled on her legs and feet as well. Within seconds my baby was burned very badly. First estimates by the paramedics were 30% of her little body. I was horrified and grief stricken. Long story short, for 6 long months we waited for her wound to simply close. The poor girl had an open wound on her chest for 6 painful months. We visited the burn clinic at Loyola at least two or three times a week, trying different ointments, different strategies just to get what was ultimately a little open area to close. We took it day by day, administering morphine before her bath because of her anxiety, and perfecting a little figure 8 bandage wrap around her tiny torso and shoulders. Finally, as we ran out of options, the doctors decided to graft it as they meticulously took skin from her scalp and placed it on her chest. She is left with a nasty scar, which I see every morning and every evening. A constant reminder of a mother's careless mistake. I truly thought the tea cup was much farther back on the counter than it actually was. Never in a million years did I think she could reach it.

This is my cross to bear. Some days I never think about it, other days it's all I think about. Anyway, I share this as a reminder to myself, and to all who are struggling, have faith that by the grace of God you will get through the challenge you are facing. Okay, perhaps not a revelation, but certainly a parallel in my life that I plan on drawing from as I continue my efforts to lose weight and gain health.

Well, I think that may be it folks. Like I said, I'll update FB while I'm in Utah...but I honestly don't see myself snapping photos of my meals and reviewing every workout with you via the blog. My predecessors have done such an outstanding job of doing that, I almost feel like I've been there! So catch me on Facebook, and to all my friends out there, a million thank yous for your overwhelming support! To my new friends, I truly look forward to meeting you on the 4th and taking this journey with you!

Wishing you peace, love and good health!

Finding Balance

It's been tooooo long since I've dedicated time to write. It's been even longer since I've read through my fellow campers' blogs. Apologies my friends! The past 10 days have been crazy. The past 10 years have been crazy and I don't see it slowing down anytime soon!

Recapping last week....I did not log my food at all. Feel free to tsk tsk, point and shake the finger, etc. Unfortunately it was evident on the scale. I felt like I ate well, but even though I had 6 days of awesome workouts, I managed to GAIN 1.4. For about 10 minutes I let it get to me...really get to me. Then I made a decision to not allow a scale setback morph into a motivation setback. Truth is, my cardiovascular endurance is undoubtedly improving, and the scale doesn't measure that.

In an effort to step up my game, and to better prepare myself for my impending adventure, I'm having to shift the balance of home life, and dedicate more time to my workouts. I'm now doing two workouts a day, one outdoors so I get accustomed to walking on something other than a belt, and the second on the treadmill so I can fully focus on incline. This morning I totally stepped out of my comfort zone (and my warm, comfy bed) to walk 2+ miles outdoors in the rain before the girls awakened for school. I am not a morning workout person. Never have been. But the fact is that next week at Disney I need to hit the treadmill before we hit the parks, so I may as well get into the routine now. By the time I hit Utah in 3 weeks I should be conditioned to multiple workouts a day....although nothing I do now could ever be adequate preparation for what I'm about to endure. The best I can do is to push myself more and more each day. Tonight I ran 1 minute sprints on the treadmill. It doesn't sound like much, but for this walker it was. I swore to myself that I wouldn't run before boot camp, because I am deathly afraid of re injuring my bum knee. But I felt that my body was craving and capable of it.

I must admit that I'm still not fully focused on food, but rather completely focused on improving endurance so that I can physically get through the week of camp. The food will come. I will have no option that week other than to eat healthy and within their meal plan. Whatever amount of weight I lose that week will be huge momentum for me when I get home. And with my workout routines are already in place, I'm sure to succeed.

Best to you my friends, and sorry it's been so long!